Do I really have to call it 'dating'?

The art of dating. It has always perplexed me. If the people behind our favourite chick flicks had their way, we'd all being getting in on the fun. Well, maybe it works for some, but can't we call it something else, like, I don't know...hanging out with a member of the opposite (or same, whatever floats your boat) sex to see if they're 'significant other' material? Hmm, admittedly my suggestion isn't quite as catchy, but I reckon I'll stick with it. Keep reading to find out why.


So, 'dating', that old chestnut. Urban Dictionary defines it thus: 

'The modern day battlefield of romance where hearts are won and broken, the not-quite so version of chivalry and wooing, an interview for a lover; the lay down some time-and money and see if you get some candy routine; the progressed game of cat-and-mouse; the human courtship ritual; playing baseball for a home run.'

I'm not entirely sure who dreamt up the concept, but if I were ever to find out, I'd give them a telling off. Why? Because 'dating' or rather, the game of back-and-forth chasing/texting/flirting is odd, awkward &if I'm frank, comes with far too many rules.

A little while back I was having a chat with my friend Chris over a cup of tea (we regularly turn up at each other's rooms, demanding a brew). After all the usual banter dissipated, we got on to the 'deep and meaningful' topic of...you guessed it, dating. At this point, I should probably tell you that Chris &I are self-confessed over-thinkers. We could probably analyse a turnip until our heads hurt. So, when it came to the afore mentioned topic, we were full to the brim with puzzlement,ranting &lamentation. His major contention was that 'dating' is too structured, and seemed to demand that the man concerned be on top of his game, taking his lady out on the most exciting, ingenious rendezvous, with witty banter &free flowing compliments on tap. 

In the not-so-fine art of dating, it's the blokes who are under immense pressure to not only be pant-droppingly charming & flirtatious (but not in a sleazy way), but ooze generosity and generally be on their best behaviour. Many of my guys friends have admitted to finding the whole thing 'strict and regimented'. So much so, that the simple matter of choosing a restaurant/pub/ice rink or goodness knows what else becomes a stressful chore. As a female, I find the pre-date ritual of getting ready immensely irksome. Take for instance, one every time I go out for drinks with a man. Luckily, one of us will suggest the ever loyal pub, so I never have to worry about which of my jazzy-but-not-too-jazzy dresses to wear. Even so,  I end up re-doing my make up thrice, and I'm pretty sure I change my outfit as many times. If it wasn't for the fail-safe skinny jeans that have seen me through my first meets so far, I may have been tempted to rock up in my slob attire. 

Then comes the dreaded 'three day rule',which demands that only after three days can you text your 'date'. And by you, I don't mean either party. No, apparently it must be the man because of good old chivalry. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those women who scowls whenever a bloke holds a door open for me, it's a nice gesture! But if I want to text a man, I won't let social propriety tell me that I shouldn't. Also, is it really fair to expect the poor bloke to pursue you? 

I feel that I've reached a point where I should clarify something: I like hanging out with men, whether they're my friends, family or maybe even prospective 'others'. Men are great, I like the smell of aftershave &I appreciate being treated like a lady despite being told by my mother that I need 'lessons in how to be graceful'. What I really like, however, is simple, pressure-free conversation over a drink in a pub with a nice bloke. Will he like me? Will I like him? Will he wonder what on earth he got himself into by asking me out? Who knows? But let's keep it simple.


Miss Dx

Unchanged by change: dealing with the unexpected and losing the freak outs

If you are in a boat and the wind changes, it’s a sign of the need to reassess your direction and prepare for the impending new situation.  Ahh! Life is a bit like being in a boat. Except none of us really feel like experienced sailors, so the prospect of different waters often leaves us clinging to the sides, frantically paddling to just stay where things currently are.

Yet at our ages, everything is centred around change. New College. New Job. New friends. New wardrobe. New partners. New digs. New journeys. New challenges. New circumstances – the lists of unpredictability’s are endless. Life seems to move fast, and we might not always like it.

But I’m starting to think it is actually really good for us. We don’t get better at the things we do unless we are pushed to reach new challenges. I am always comforted by the memory of paddling to my father’s arms in the swimming pool when I was very small. Slowly, without me realising, he would move further away, till I realised I had swum a whole length by myself. While it would be a lot less scary to spend our whole lives at the pool steps , we’d never then get to learn how great it is to dive from the deep end.

We need to be brave, and it’s hard, and sometimes change isn’t always good.  But if it’s inevitable, we have to think about the way we approach it. It also doesn’t mean that things won’t eventually then turn out for the best. Sometimes it is these big changes that really define who we are.

 New job? Totally embrace it. New Home? Make it your nest. New friends? Well you can never have too many.  Unsteady waters ahead? Look where your compass is pointing  and stand firm in the wind.  We are never alone, and no matter how bad the storm, there can also be some really great sunsets at sea.


Miss V x

Summer sun, the weekend has only just begun.

Beautiful sunny day! Have a lovely weekend, I am spending the day in the sun. 

Many happy returns to Mr M today :)

Bag: Mulberry, Lipgloss: Liz Earle, Sunglasses: Parisian vintage - Trinity Hospice Shop find






Miss V x

Handbags

Totally loving these right now..


Pieces Aris Shopper £38.00 from Asos

Stone perforated Leather Medium Jolie £425 by Lulu Guiness 

Studded Clutch with clasp fastening £69.99 from Zara

Miss V x

Nail colour crazy

We all love nail drama. But is this summer about the pastel shades or going statement bold?


[from left: 'No Mambo Jambo' by H&M, 'Fairy Cake' by Boots 17, 'Golden Treasure' by H&M, 'Jungle Red' NARS, and Nails Inc free polish in June edition of InStyle magazine]


Miss V x

Liz Earle Beauty

This week I visited the Liz Earle flagship store in Sloane Square. But before I tell you about what I thought of their new cosmetic range,  I need to fill you in on why you need to throw away your cleanser and moisturiser,  and why you need to fall in love with Liz Earle products.


I have always had quite random skin. Sometimes it would feel comfortable and look clear, yet it also has this remarkable ability to rebel, freak out, and break out. In your twenties, this is not cool. I have used a real variety and range of products, from cheap over-the-counter quick-fixes to expensive labels. Yet none of them have really been terrific. 


Until I used Liz Earle cleansing products.


I came across Liz Earle products by total chance. Channel flicking late one night I got distracted by the beauty program on QVC, where Kim Buckland (the co-founder along with Liz Earle herself) was showing the well established cleansing product range. Kim really seemed to know her stuff, and I was impressed by the apparent simplicity of the products. No harsh chemicals. No animal testing. No drama.  Just natural ingredients to soothe and nourish. Well, it turned out I was the last to know about Liz Earle Products. Friends, family and neighbours (both women and men) were telling me how effective the products are, and how good they are for your skin. Convinced, I bought the cleanser, moisturizer and 'polish cloths' (for effective daily exfoliation).


A month later, I am standing in Liz Earle Sloane Square a day or two after the launch of their new make- up range - a new line with a generous delivery of different products, all with kind, non-fuss ingredients. How is my skin? Evidence of its success is the reason I am back, and want more. Another customer approached me, paying me the compliment that my skin was glowing. She had never used Liz Earle products but after we chatted, I hope now I have managed to convince her. The new make up line itself is really sleek and I urge you to go and see for yourself : http://uk.lizearle.com/. That day I bought one of their new Sheer Lip glosses, which gives a hint of colour and great moisturisation. 


If you are thinking of updating your makeup bag, or looking for a new perspective on cleansing, then Liz Earle products understand beauty, because they understand our skin.


Miss V x

These Fossils Make Sweet, Sweet Music

Say hello to David Fendick and Jonny Hooker, two multi instrumentalists with something quite wonderful up their  sleeves. 

{Via Jonny Abrams @ ROCKSUCKER}

This Leeds duo are definitely worth getting excited about. Theirs is a breed of music which is pithy, a little eerie, and moodily romantic, all mixed up to make tracks which are guaranteed to make you swoon. Husky voiced, and with guitars in hand, these two blokes have even managed to make Frankie Goes to Hollywood's 'Power of  Love' sound like it's fresh from their own songbook.




Their debut EP, 'Let it Go' is out in June, but until then, you can feast your eyes&ears on these treats.




Miss Dx

Samira Hashi- the Coolest of the Month

Growing up is a daunting call for all of us. Realising that duty and responsibility are just around the corner is enough to freak anyone out, especially when you're only just in your twenties, have sky-rocketed in the modelling world, & left your homeland of Somalia as a refugee during its violent civil war. 

When it comes to top models, I'll be honest, I can't name many of them. Yet, when I heard about Samira Hashi, I took notice instantly.

{Via Ikran}

In the recent BBC documentary, 'Escape from the World's Most Dangerous Place', Hashi is accompanied by a team of cameramen as she travels back to her homeland to get closer to her roots, and witness the atrocities of the Somali civil war, which is now entering it's third decade. In it's opening few minutes, we see a spirited twenty something in her mother's London home, preparing herself for her departure. She's apprehensive, and aware of the brevity of the situation. Not only is she about to travel to 'the World's most dangerous place', she'll be reunited with her father, who she hasn't seen for eighteen years, after he left Samira, her mother, &her sisters in their London home to travel back to Somalia. 

Her father's home with his new family is Samira's first stop, and she is greeted by him, his three sons, &their mother, a young Somali woman. The reunion is brief, and Hashi is hardened, but resigns herself to the fact that her father remarried to ensure a male progeny. Sons, we are told, are considered a blessing in Somali culture. Daughters, however, are not regarded as equal fortunes. Astonishingly, Samira doesn't seem phased by the encounter, and her discovery of her father's motives to remarry. As she put it: 'My sisters and I are more than blessed in London. My mum is my mum and dad.'

She then continues her journey to the UN refugee camp at Dolo- Ado, a refuge outside a region dominated by the extremist Islamic group, Al- Shabaab. It is here that the stark reality of the refugee camp she lived in with her mother and sisters hits her. Going back to your roots, and realising that your family lived in abject poverty just so they could escape from a terrorist group must be no easy realisation, and, from our comfortable side of the camera, we can see how hard the experience hits Samira. This is growing up at its hardest. Despite her tender years, Samira demonstrates a hardened maturity that keeps her going through her journey, and her affection for her motherland becomes increasingly tinged with anger, sadness, and fervent loyalty to its people. 

In the final leg of her journey, Hashi travels to Somaliland- the de facto sovereign state in  north-western Somalia. It has become a haven and refuge from the bitterly violent civil war raging on outside. Yet, it is here that Samira learns of another abuse. FGM, or female genital mutilation is widely practised in Somalia, and is still legal in Somaliland, despite international pressure. Frighteningly, culture dictates that young girls must be 'cut' in order to ensure their purity and virginity. Hashi comes across a six year old girl who is circumcised by her mother, who, after the procedure, rests assured that she will die in peace, knowing that she performed the act on her daughter. After witnessing the aftermath of FGM herself, Hashi has returned to England as a fervent campaigner against the mutilation of women, and has cut back on her modelling career in order to devote more time to work for the relief of Somalia from the violence of Al- Shabaab.

It's always refreshing to see people using their fame and influence as a platform to do good in the world, and this is why Samira Hashi has cemented her position as the coolest of the month.

Miss Dx

Charmed by Pixi

Pixi Glow? I am glowing after this brand.

The floral feminine packaging of each Pixi piece is so lovely. It reminds me of the style of Paul & Joe make up, having a classic yet boho feel to their products. I have now brought several things from Pixi, and haven't felt let down in the slightest. Personal favourite: Illuminating Tint and Conceal is the all rounder and very compact for face paint (as well as offering perfect coverage in virtually a light concealer and moisturiser!) . Today's purchase: Petal Jam in Budding Berry - literally the most gorgeous smelling lip tint (have to stop myself eating it...) and really moisturizing, plus it actually looks like a travel-size jam jar!. The staff are professional and genuine, and the make up is worth every penny (which doesn't ask for a extortionate amount of them either!).


Pixi have the most darling shop in Carnaby St, London and can be found at Boots too!


Miss V xx

Beauty in a Jar (no joke)

When it comes to things beauty/make up/hair related, I'm a little clueless. There are so many products out there, so for a self-confessed novice, standing in the skincare/haircare aisles of Boots can be a little daunting. I'm pretty sure I still have no idea what BB cream is. (Please fill me in if you can!)


I'd heard it on the grapevine that you can keep your beauty routine simple, effective, natural & cheap (get in!) How? By the wonders of coconut oil. This stuff can double up as as hair mask and an intensive moisturiser! Apparently, it tastes pretty good too. Thanks to the antioxidants and other health goodies of coconut oil,  this very unglamorous plastic jar is now my loyal companion in all things hair/face related.

Let me fill you in...


I first tried the product as hair mask about a week ago. It has a really low melting point, so after rubbing it between my fingers a little, I was able to lather it all over my tresses with ease. After leaving it on for about half an hour, I shampooed and conditioned it off. The results? Soft, silky hair with no frizz in sight. I've also been told that the all natural oil can stimulate hair growth and can repair split ends, too...(Could this be true?! Apparently so...)


As a moisturiser, I won't lie, I was a little put off at first. As the name suggests, coconut oil is well, you guessed it, oily. Put it on, and you'll have a bit more than a natural glow going on. But, don't be deterred! Leave it on from anything between twenty minutes to all night, and you'll be left with smooth and rejuvenated skin. 


For a cheap all rounder, coconut oil could be your fail-safe potion. As a lover of natural beauty products, I'm excited that this is reputed to produce long term benefits, not just a temporary glow. So, my verdict: buy yourself a jar. From a high-end organic variety, to my cheap, but very effective plastic potted concoction, you won't be disappointed.


Also, thank you to Nika from Pirouette for inspiring this post!


Miss Dx

Natural Beauty Treats

Shhh...beauty tips here. Miss D loves natural products, and these are two of my personal favourite natural treats.


Manuka Honey - tastes great on toast, and is great for your face, keeping your complexion clear and nourished. Either get it in its pure form 250g from Holland and Barrett at £10.49

Or Holland and Barrett do a great mask version (less sticky!) 

Dr Organic, Organic Manuka Facemask £7.19




Another great natural beauty treatment is  Apple Cider Vinegar. You need to be careful as it is quite strong (both in acidity and smell!) So seek advice before using, but it is very cleansing and anti-bacterial. I have used it as a toner and a small amount in bottled water (lemon juice in water however is another cleansing option, much preferred in taste!) and the results are really good.

This is Aspal Organic Cyder Vinegar at £1.75 (I personally think however that Braggs is the best)


Do you have any other great home beauty remedies?


Miss V x

Clearer Horizons

I have just come back from the Caribbean, where sea met sand and I met a glimpse of paradise.

Travelling from East to West of the Island, I saw beautiful scenery, ate amazing food, and met some really, really awesome people.  I think that is what stuck me most about the Island - the way people are, and their attitude to life. I think in the UK we can be so wrapped up in each minute detail, worrying about the unnecessary and not focusing enough on life in general. But there is so much soul to Barbados, and the Barbadians are such happy people.  When I one day followed the gaze of some local fisherman and looked out to sea, I realized that life can be so much simpler than we allow, and yet we make it so complicated for ourselves with our constant grumblings about train delays/ traffic jams/ the weather/  broken nails...


...and talking of nails, check out my friend Caryl's!! Totally cool.

I want to go back, I had an amazing time, thank you to all the lovely people I met, and thank you God for such a beautiful part of the world.


Miss V xoxox

On the Art of Mooching

Here I am, sitting on a ridiculously huge arm chair in my college common room, wistfully looking out of the window when I really ought to be working. What I would love to do right now, if it wasn't for the torrential rain outside, is go for a good old mooch. Dictionary.com defines the word thus: 'verb (used without object) to loiter or wander about.' That's exactly what I'd like to do right now.

When I lived in London, Miss V&I would often escape our halls of residence to wander around the big city, from Camden to Brick Lane, we have wandered far. One of my favourite things to do in the city was to do exactly this. My favourite mooch location? Covent Garden, particularly at night. When the sun goes down, the walk-through tourist attraction becomes an oasis of dewy calm, with a promising sense of potential. I love walking through the piazza, listening to the buskers, taking photographs of the surroundings. I've had some good times there, &whenever I've felt a bit down in the dumps, it's been my haven. 

So, once the weather starts behaving itself, &the never ending pile of coursework has died down, I will be eagerly anticipating a summer of mooching, whether I'm with or without company.

Miss Dx 

Tips for Happy Travels

Currently awaiting my flight at the airport, so thought I'd take the moment to write a quick post, and share some thoughts that I certainly find useful to make the bigger travels as comfortable as possible. 

Now I love airports. I don't know why - a lot of people find the experience tiresome, full of trepidation, or simply a downright hassle. Not me. I will arrive early to maximize duty free time. I love nothing more than sitting in Costa, watching the world go by and thinking excitedly about my upcoming trip ahead. Whatever your disposition, here is some tips that you might find helpful :

1. Keep hydrated. (not coffee though...I am slowly learning this) A lot of walking-to-terminals, dry air conditioning etc makes skin parched and throats dry. Keep topped up.

2. Chew gum. Stops the munchies plus keeps any nerves in check (and keeps breath fresh!)

3. Keep all important docs in one folder in your bag. Nothing more annoying for you or others than having to route around an over-sized handbag for your info.

4.Easy Literature. I have my novel/ more substantial reading with me, but also a travel sized glossy which is great for quick reading at odd moments, and bright captions/ lots of pictures can help distract any flight jitters

5. Flats. I love the idea of strutting down the aisles with ten inch heels, but my feet would hate me. You have got the holiday/business trip to wear your platforms, so give the toes a break while traveling.

6. Cashmere jumper. Makes for cosy flying  (or just a great sleep prop).

7. Minimal Makeup. At most, I would recommend a BB cream, but ideally just a moisturizer. It depends how long the flight, but I always think the girls who plaster it on pre-flight look a bit OTT.

8. If there is a delay -don't get anxious/ frustrated. Everyone gets delayed once in a while. I'm in fact a bit delayed today - but hey, more time for blogging! You don't want to think back to your vacation remembering how stressed you were, so take it all as it comes. Deep breaths  - yes there is a delay, but that is ok. More time for shopping/diary planning/reading.

9.  When you get the chance, have a quick spritz of one of the perfume testers in Duty Free
. This allows you to sample a new fragrance/freshen up for the flight ahead.

10. Ah, time to board! Wherever you go next, have a wonderful trip, and happy flying :)

Miss V x

Customizing Denim

About to go abroad and have added to my summer wardrobe,  by giving my loved old Diesels a new look :)


Miss V x

Alice Dellal

A new monthly addition to our blog is going to be letting you guys know who we think is rocking the moment. After reading about her InStyle this April, we think Miss Dellal is taking our hearts and Chanel, by storm.

via Janet Kim from catwalkqueen.tv

via Annabella Zaklit from racefashion.blogspot.com

Miss V x

Beauty, well-being, and water.

from Shannon Jackson via Pinterest


Every time I go for a jog, I think 'damn -  forgot the water bottle again'.


About 100 yards up the road, I am dragging my struggling limbs to the nearest bench for a breather. Probably also have a stitch. Inevitably, I am longing for my Evian.


Our bodies are made up of something like 60% of water, so it seems mega important that we keep it topped up. But, I don't know about you, but I find it really difficult to actually just drink water. 10am in the morning, the only liquid I want is a coffee, and dinner out is lovely with a glass of Pinot (great, two diuretics at the weekend  - no wonder I'm thirsty). 


Yet we are all told aren't we that we should be drinking our 8 glasses/ 2 litres a day. It is great for our pores, our organs, the shine on our hair and our general well-being. I have read countless articles where some gorgeous A- lister has thanked their personal trainer and their water consumption for their glowing looks (I am,often quite skeptical that this is all that is involved, however) 


But, I have decided to really give it a go. I am going to drink 8 glasses a day, and report back in 2 weeks how I feel. I am guinea-pigging my work performance, my complexion, and how well I can jog around that block, and in 14 days, I will let you know how I got on. 


If Jen looks this good after water, then pour me another.


Miss V x

On buying nicely

I'll admit to being a sucker for anything fairtrade/organic/cruelty- free/locally sourced; I always have been. To me, it makes sense: we all buy things, and if the things we buy can help make life easier for others, why not join in? I'll resist the urge to recite every argument for jumping on the oddly named 'ethical consumerism' bandwagon, but keep reading for some reasons why buying kindly can be more fun, rewarding &creative than picking a dress from a high street hanger, or a 2-for-1 deal at your local supermarket.


Smaller shops: Those self-checkout machines just aren't as much fun. I like talking to people and a friendly exchange of 'have a nice day!' and other niceties. Those machines just stress me out &I almost always need staff assistance to get the damn things to do what I want. Convenience is great, but I'd rather get to know small business owners and strike a rapport with them. Good conversation is a wonderful thing, so any opportunity that allows you to cultivate it must be worth holding on to.


Originality: Me &Miss V have always loved charity &vintage shops, but now it's more like a passion of ours (she is a genius at it too). Anyone can walk into Topshop and buy a dress, but there's so much more fun to be had in creating something new from cast off odds and ends. I'm no fashionista, but this is definitely something to get excited about. A student budget can definitely limit how much you would like to spend on clothes/shoes &the rest. Yet, with a little time spent digging around second hand &charity shops, or even ebay, you'll find something far more special than any normal shop can deliver, and create something that is entirely of your making. My favourite finds so far? A Joop handbag for a tenner, &a deliciously cosy aran knit that saw me through the winter months.


Oxfam do toiletries: This is something to get excited about. For a couple of years, I've been buying my shampoo& conditioner from this humble, but much loved shop, &honestly, it's the best I've ever used. What am I wittering on about? The fabulous, all natural brand called 'Faith in Nature'. These paraben free potions come in range of varieties (Lavender &Geranium is my all time favourite), and they're all guaranteed to leave your hair oh so soft, and smelling lush. Plus, a 400ml bottle costs a little over £4- bargain much?!


Markets vs Supermarkets: Again, it boils down to good old convenience. I'll admit that I'm easily swayed by a special offer, but when I have the time, perusing around Oxford's covered market is a great joy of mine.When I first moved to the city, I walked past the fruit&veg stand with a fellow foodie friend of mine, &we were both giddily excited about the variety on offer. Carrots with their stalks still on? Yellow courgettes? Admittedly, we may have been too easily excited, but bland &boring these offerings were not. In my humble opinion, fresh, seasonal fruit &veg that have often been locally grown somehow have  a far greater appeal than groceries freighted over from far off lands. Simply put, when your food doesn't have to be transported through sky&seas, it'll taste fresher, ergo better. Plus, you know it wont have a mile high carbon foot print (all tree huggers rejoice!) Better yet, markets don't always have to be boutique-y. I've often found that some items are cheaper than they would be in my local supermarket. Win win? I think so.


So there you have it, a few of my reasons why I'm aiming to be a little nicer when I buy (and having fun with it too).


Miss Dx

SHOES

Miss V x

Paying for your Product or Paying for its packaging?

{via Pamela Heywood from alwynwturner.com}


It is pretty easy to be taken in by ornate bottles, sleek boxes and stylish brand fonts, not to mention luxurious ad campaigns. But in the end, is the actual gift worth the gab?


We are in quite a tense time in the economy. I get it -brands don't want to lose business, and I'm not saying that sometimes, a little expenditure proves worthwhile in the long term. But then, we also don't want to be paying quite so much, that the only person actually benefiting is the cheeky manufacturer.


Someone was telling me the other day that it is a clever marketing ploy to raise the price of products, not because of the highly sought after ingredients used in certain cosmetics, but because it raises the prestige, and therefore the demand, of the brand. The stats show that we are more likely to buy the expensive brands than the cheaper alternatives because we assume the price indicates the effects. In our minds, cheap stuff  = minimal magic, whereas £80 for a thumb nail pot must be the miracle cure we have been searching for.


But quite often though, we are disappointed that the products haven't proved their price-tag. So how can we avoid making the same mistakes again when we are next taken in by some clever marketing and a large array of numerals? Firstly, check the ingredients. Not many of us are chemists, but we can all play 'snap' pretty well, and when you read the small print, quite often we become suspicious that we are paying more for what is virtually the same ingredients as the store's 'own brand' variation. Second - read reviews. Youtube, blogs, or fashion/beauty websites will tell you if the product is actually worth buying whatever its cost, so listening to those who have tried-before-you-buy, could save you your bank balance and a massive disappointment.


Again, don't get me wrong, some products out there are a lot of money and deliver great results - I think Eve Lom for instance, is one of those more high end, but high quality brands. But don't dismiss the cheaper alternatives - remember the Waitrose baby butter at under £3 was deemed the new Creme-de-la-mer? . Don't be conned by consumerism - it costs not to be cautious. 


Any recommendations out there of great value for money buys? Or cosmetics that you think are really worth their cost?


Miss V x