Please, let's just cut the bullsh*t

Honesty, that old chestnut. We've all been lectured about its value &importance, and how, invariably, it is very wrong to lie. If you've been lied to, I'm betting you didn't like it much. Yet, even if we don't do it in the cheating, dishonest, immoral way, all of us are prone to inauthenticity. What I mean by 'inauthenticity' is a different, and a little more subtle rendering to the common understanding of 'lying', but I think it's important, so bear with me.

Recently, I had a discussion with someone- the topic is irrelevant, and a little contentious, so let's leave that behind- and, we were clearly at odds with one another. He said one thing, I argued another, and so it continued. Yet, having had far too many conversations in which either I or the other person water down our opinions and judgements to 'soften the blow',  I found it incredibly refreshing (and enjoyable) to speak to someone who had confidence in their conviction, and didn't feel the urge to present an inauthentic or diluted version of his beliefs for the sake of mine. The simple fact is, by being truthful with one another about our views, we knew exactly where the other stood, and neither of us had to sift through a veil of 'holding back' in order to work out what the other really thought. 

Thinking about the idea of honesty more closely, the need to cut the bullsh*t, and not dumb down what we really mean isn't just necessary in debate, but on pretty much every level of our daily conduct. From the people too frightened or intimidated to say exactly what it is that they want to do with themselves, to the types prone to stringing paramours along by dancing around their real desires, we could all do with being more authentic. Think how much simpler our days &lives would be if we didn't succumb to a perceived need to mask our true feelings or intentions for whatever reason we may deem valid.

Proof in point: I've listened to friends ranting about what they 'really, really wanted to say' to the object of said rant, and then, chastising themselves for not being as frank as they wanted to be. Personally, I've found myself- far too often- walking away from an encounter with someone I really wanted to be frank &open with, whether I could have told them that I think they're quite brilliant, and would like to be more than friends, that they're a prize idiot, or whatever else.

If frustration comes from not getting what we want, or not knowing where we stand, it seems simple enough that the solution lies in not shirking away from the real madness/severity/hopefulness of what we want to say &just coming out with it. I reckon we'd be much less frustrated, ergo happier. Maybe my insistence is a symptom of my naive optimism, but I can't help but think that my little theory might work. Why not try it out? Go on, I dare you.

Miss D x